Remembering my mother’s words of caution, apart from her Orange Alert advice, I felt for my wallet before I got out. “You’re going to get mugged. Count on it. I’m a New Yorker. I know. Don’t look up at the tall buildings, everyone will think you’re an asshole and then they’ll mug you because of it. Keep your hands on your wallet at all times, unless you’re getting mugged, and when you do finally meet your muggers, just hand it over. Muggers are very sick individuals. Give them what they want. Unless it’s dirty and depraved; that’s something you just can’t come back from. And keep your driver’s license someplace different. If a mugger takes it, you’ll never get on another plane without it. It’s an Orange Alert, you know.”
— from “We Thought You’d Be Prettier: True Tales of the Dorkiest Girl Alive,” by Laurie Notaro.
